Friday, July 25, 2008

My Loss

Yesterday I was going through my old pictures trying to find one I liked enough to use as my Twitter profile pic. I discovered that right before my wedding and on my honeymoon there were several pics that I actually LIKED of myself. Oh, the tragedy of realizing that I've "let myself go."

Okay, not really.

But I am just dissatisfied with my weight right now. I'm almost always uncomfortable, be it because my clothes aren't fitting properly or I feel like I just don't look good. I know I shouldn't be so wrapped up in something so temporary and superficial. But I don't think it's just about looks. It's that feeling that I'm not controlling myself, I'm not disciplined. I remember feeling when I was losing weight like I was more on top of everything, more upbeat, I had more energy. Getting dressed in the morning was more about deciding how I wanted to look than choosing what still fit, and getting compliments was a good thing and not something to make me feel more vulnerable and self-conscious.

So, once I get back from the big vacay this week, I'm going to kick it into high gear. No more frequenting the fast food joints for lunch, no more ice cream splurges, no more frequent Vince's and Mexican food dates (tear!). At least until I get this self-control thing a little bit more... in control. I will allow myself one meal a week and one day a month to just not worry about what I eat, but other than that, I'm going to have to be pretty strict with my calorie filters. Friends, please help me out with this. I'm not asking for much, just that you understand if I want to eat Lean Cuisine instead of going out for Chipotle, or if I want to have you over for dinner instead of going out. Plus I'll feed you and save us all money. Think of the benefits! :)

And I'll be hitting up 24 more frequently, if you want to join me, or invite me to join you, let me know. But don't be mad if I'm grumpy because I still don't "enjoy" working out. It's a have to thing, not a want to thing at this point.

I'm going to be creative about tracking my progress and creating goals and incentives, if you have any input please feel free to hit me up, but since the comment feature STILL isn't working, you can email me. :)

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