Monday, September 21, 2009


There is so much to be joyful about. There is so much to be sad about.

I have friends who don't have jobs. I have friends who really want kids, but aren't even married yet. I have friends who really want kids, but can't get pregnant and adoption is ridiculously hard and takes so much time. Not that it's impossible, but it's challenging. I have friends who desperately need to get out of rent or house payments that are too high. I have friends whose marriages are crumbling to pieces.

Yet here I sit, feeling taken care of. I'm pregnant. Finally. Aaron still has a job. I have a job that I love. We have a cute dog. We have a house in the city that we want to live in. We love each other. I have so many friends that it is hard to see all of them as much as I'd like. I have so many people who support and love me it's borderline ridiculous.

I won't say it's perfect. We have a lot more debt than we would like and can never seem to dig our way out of it completely. But we pay the bills, thankfully.

And my heart still hurts. My heart hurts for my friends who are lonely. For my friends who feel as though they're not doing anything with their lives of value. For my friends who can't get pregnant. For my friends who must have only met blind and mentally inept members of the opposite sex because there is no reason why any of them should still be single.

Not that I'm feeling sorry for them, because I don't think any of them would want that. It just breaks my heart. I wish that there were some cut and dry "thing" that each of them could have that would bring them joy and peace. For those that have faith, maybe it's the answer to one of their "big" prayers. For those that don't, maybe it's a little faith that things could get better. Maybe it's a little bit of hope.

I am a problem-solver at heart. So maybe that's why I dwell on the problems in life. I think I get the concept of the best of times and worst of times. Especially lately, I have been experiencing some personal "best of times." But they are simultaneously the "worst of times" when I have friends who feel as though they're outside looking in. I don't know how many times I've prayed for so many of them to have __________ (the thing it seems they need most).

Ugh. Ramble, ramble, ramble.

If you are my friend, I wish you well. I pray for you to have peace, to experience joy in spite of difficulty and sadness. I hope that in some small way, you feel that today. And that what little bit of good you are able to find in each day is enough to get you through one more day without falling apart.

And if you need to go see a movie, or get a smoothie, or just do something fun, I'm here.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

For Maggi

:) I think it's a good hopeful image.