Really?

seriously, who would go to applebee's when there is so much other good food here?

My Crew

in case you can't tell, they're holding spiderman and wolverine toys from the giant toys r us.

My Overanxious Mind

Well, we dropped Scout off at Rose's.

I hope she doesn't do anything stupid like try to get out of the yard or eat a whole Sago palm tree.

I'm such a worrier! It's terrible. Good thing I have lots of packing to keep me busy!

My Loss

Yesterday I was going through my old pictures trying to find one I liked enough to use as my Twitter profile pic. I discovered that right before my wedding and on my honeymoon there were several pics that I actually LIKED of myself. Oh, the tragedy of realizing that I've "let myself go."

Okay, not really.

But I am just dissatisfied with my weight right now. I'm almost always uncomfortable, be it because my clothes aren't fitting properly or I feel like I just don't look good. I know I shouldn't be so wrapped up in something so temporary and superficial. But I don't think it's just about looks. It's that feeling that I'm not controlling myself, I'm not disciplined. I remember feeling when I was losing weight like I was more on top of everything, more upbeat, I had more energy. Getting dressed in the morning was more about deciding how I wanted to look than choosing what still fit, and getting compliments was a good thing and not something to make me feel more vulnerable and self-conscious.

So, once I get back from the big vacay this week, I'm going to kick it into high gear. No more frequenting the fast food joints for lunch, no more ice cream splurges, no more frequent Vince's and Mexican food dates (tear!). At least until I get this self-control thing a little bit more... in control. I will allow myself one meal a week and one day a month to just not worry about what I eat, but other than that, I'm going to have to be pretty strict with my calorie filters. Friends, please help me out with this. I'm not asking for much, just that you understand if I want to eat Lean Cuisine instead of going out for Chipotle, or if I want to have you over for dinner instead of going out. Plus I'll feed you and save us all money. Think of the benefits! :)

And I'll be hitting up 24 more frequently, if you want to join me, or invite me to join you, let me know. But don't be mad if I'm grumpy because I still don't "enjoy" working out. It's a have to thing, not a want to thing at this point.

I'm going to be creative about tracking my progress and creating goals and incentives, if you have any input please feel free to hit me up, but since the comment feature STILL isn't working, you can email me. :)

My Excitement

Okay, okay, so I'm a little excited about NYC, can you tell????

I was trying to rig my gmail and blogger accounts to cooperate so that I could double-post to both here and the "family update" blog... but it wouldn't cooperate. So I'm telling you, if you want up to the minute updates while we're in the big apple, follow me on the other blog and twitter.

For now, I'll amuse you with our sad weather forecast. Let's hope it's way off:

3 days!

in just three days I'll be seeing these everywhere!

My Politics

I won't start a hot-button conversation here about politics.

I just want to talk about what my politics are not. Yesterday I was reading chapter 5 of this wonderful little book I've been reading titled UnChristian. This chapter was about the alarming perception of Christians as being antihomosexual. Not that it should be alarming, anyone who watches the news and doesn't live in a cave should know that there are "wonderful" people like the Reverend Fred Phelps out parading against homosexuality and hating everyone who touches it.

This notion bothers me so much more in election years.

I cannot stand the way that the Christian Right leverages anti-gay and anti-abortion to bring out the Christians to vote Republican. It becomes, suddenly, the "right" way to vote.

Now, I'm not for abortion. I wish that making it illegal would make it go away, but it won't.

Homosexuality is more complicated to me. There are just too many nuances that dictate the sexual orientation of a person. I know that I've heard more than one gay person say that they wished they could change, choose to live the accepted and normal life of a "breeder." Which brings me to another topic, knowing that in order to become parents, they would have only difficult options at best. I think the easy thing to do is to not feel any compassion, to say that gay, lesbian, and transgendered people don't deserve to have families of their own.

But sometimes the easy thing to do is not the right thing to do. Brokenness is spreading like wildfire, and hate and discrimination abound, even with the Civil Rights movement and other powerful advances. It's got to be pretty comfortable to sit within the cozy confines of a stale Christian bubble and point in disgust at how many ways the world is falling apart. James Dobson points out the legalization of gay marriage as practically being a sign of the apocalypse. Really? I thought that the 50% divorce rate within those who consider themselves Christians was a pretty big chink in the armor.

I digress.

What if instead of protesting against a law, we protested against hatred? What if we just went and loved God and then our neighbors? Do you have any gay neighbors? Love them, go ahead, eat dinner with them. Find out what you can do for them instead of sending in your absentee ballot declaring that marriage between them would cause your heterosexual marriage to become somehow less valid.

Politics are just that, politics. There is nothing living or breathing or active about them. There is no piece of legislation that is going to make or break my marriage, there is no piece that is going to make homosexual couples split up and stop lobbying for rights for their families. What is going to make my marriage better is love for God, and love for my husband. What's going to make our families stronger is love for our children, and bringing them up to love God and their friends. Maybe our children will be better able to love the homosexual community because of that.

So my politics are not particularly concerned with being against gay rights and gay marriage. My politics are not defined by what I am against.

My Funeral

This song, Come and Listen, by David Crowder Band, is the perfect song for a funeral. Not that it's depressing, because it isn't. But I'm sitting here, listening to it, and thinking about how this song describes this beautiful exchange that I want my life to be. When I hear this song, I picture people coming to hear a great story. Not some guy forcing people to hear about how they're sinners and need to repent, but inviting them, and them coming willingly to hear something different. Something hopeful.

I honestly don't think my life is anything special, but by the time I'm done here, I want to believe that there could be people who will want to know more about God because of the way I lived out his love for me, for them. I want people to see him as a real possibility, where maybe they didn't before. For people to see a loving God as a reality and for stories that I've played some small part in to be shared as a beautiful remnant of a life well-lived.

When it's all said and done, I don't want my life to have been about what I've accomplished, what kind of clothes I wore, or what kind of house I lived in. I want my life have been about doing impossible things, loving recklessly, and giving with abandon. Most importantly, I want people to want to hear that, to want to see that maybe I did have some outside help.

Not that I need any glory for it, but that it would all go back to the one who stands at the finish line, telling me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

My Slacking Habit

Okay, I admit it, I have not been updating this thing nearly as much as I would like.

However, that should soon be changing... provided I pick up the slack and start applying what I'm learning from Getting Things Done. I'm really excited. And yes, I've uber geeked out, as in, I created my own dividers for my Franklin Covey planner based on the new system.

If you're reading this, and you're my friend, let this be a reminder that you're friends with a lame-o, so don't be too quick to judge. After all, you picked me.

In other news, went to breakfast in Big Bear on Saturday with Liz at Boo Bear's Den (where I spotted the empty sad and lonely payphone stand), hung out with Nick and Alicia Saturday evening (we laid down some track playing Ticket to Ride), went shopping with Lori on Sunday (found a couple more cute comfy things for the big NYC trip).

I always have the most profound blog ideas and thoughts in the car where I can do nothing about them. Time to start using Jott and my cell phone to express those immediately. :) For now, I guess that's all I have to say.

no mas

there isn't really a need for payphones anymore, is there?

a hard day's work

yeah, i have an awesome job that let's me bring my dog to work. makes mondays more bearable.